A day in the life of war/terror journo.....

Kaboooooom kabishhhhhhh brrrk frrraaaaaat !!!!!Claaaaaaaaaang booooooom!!!!!!!!!!

Barkha: Excuse me are you hurt? Is that your cock? put it back for later!Are you choking with emotion to see splinters coming out of your mum`s arse?
Victim: Hey fatty thats a nice butt....Just saw Kasav coming at me and he flashed me and started shooting just because I laughed. Mummy just bent over to pick her toupee out from under Dad who copped it and just got her bum riddled the old girl is smiling she`s fine,get up mum its the fat bitch from NDTV ,stop shuffling!!

Whooooosh!!!!!frrrrrkt eeeeeeeeee ooooooooo!!!!

Barkha: Oh fuck cameraman sorry its the food at Leo`s man the chilly beef too much soda.Just pan away from me you retard I have a wedgie have to dig it out with my teeth.

Bang bang boom boom wham wham!!!!!!

Barkha: Thats one of them, fuck he`s hot,get a close up !!we`re on air? Bharka here on National Dyke TV I have just seen one of the terrorists. He`s wearing a blue langot which says `Kuber` hes got the cutest eyes and a big bulge in his pants.He is now jumping into the heritage block on his toes ever so gently.Pan to the left and theres another hes mounting the statue of JRD Tata woweeee this is so graphic.Hey pass me my jacket can`t let them know I`m flat chested quick!!

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHHHHH!!!! kRAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!

Barkha: Thats the Trident on fire now and theres a slight sense of alarm in the air. There are a couple of Polish men waving their sausages at me ,this is really spiffing!!! Excuse me are you a chef is that mozarella you are saving wow what a strong man you must be.Hello is that your real hair? its slightly singed you`re on NationalDyke TV..What do you mean I `m blocking the rear entrance cant you be polite?Theres a plume of smoke from the other building now someones baking cookies yummmy .....

HUP 2 3 4 HUP 2 3 4

Barkha: The NSG are here in black get a spot on them. Ok thats super, highlight the helmets wow well done.Okay the NSG are in the building playing in the kitchen with eggbeaters which are right near the coffee machines. Cool the Marcos are just next to the windows outside room 612 and ooops how the hell did the terrorists know about that rope?!!!!! I cannot say where Aargh Aargh is he is so nimble hes a man oos so nimble, can never tell you where he is. `Ha ha tsk tsk hes under my salwar playing with my pubes`.` Stop!!! Aargh we can scissor later`. Let me tell the doting public that our top cops are in the same car all at once. Its a black Indigo with Lumax taking the first corner OOOOOOOOOO!!!! It was an Indigo and they were our top cops...

Barkha: Mr. Tata do you think we will be able to scissor on the 6th floor anytime soon? How many hostages you think are wearing speedo costumes?Is room service still active Ratan ?I need tampons period....


Barkha: What did you see when the terrorist came close and mooned your parents?Were you shocked did you panic at the amount of hair you saw?Did you finish your meal?Tsk tsk waster!!!

Barkha: We have covered these events for 62 hours I have`nt had a bath or shat in that time please permit me to break wind whooooooooooooosh!!!!! Thanks now thats out of the way I must tell you that WE THE PEOPLE is on air from St.Xaviers in the evening be there or be square... Also P. Chiddu is now Home Minister he will be the first such minister to be dressed in the barest minimum as it will not impede his ability to make quick decisions.With this we wrap up our segment on trysts with terror a small but poignant incident.

This twit is armed and dangerous please be aware that inane reporting and grandstanding is no different from the apathy shown by our moronic politicians.
Jai Hind
Floyd Fernandes